Jean-Mimi’s Diary – July 26th, 2018

this is my diary where i keep all my sekrets. do not read unless your name is also jean-michel aulas, president of ol but soon to be president of all football

aulaswinkMood: Greedy

dear diary,

today, west ham sent me another bid for marcelo, this time for 25m. are they dumb or what.

we found him in the bargain basement of a turkish rug store last year. he was covered with cobwebs and smelled like mothballs. i got him for 7m, which is less than my yearly scarf allowance.

haha! joke’s on them!!!!!

marcelo’s not even that good, plus he’s already a million years old. any contract he signs will need to include a retirement pension.

west ham still want him anyway, but i guess there’s no accounting for taste. i said no again because they are dumb enough to offer more money.

i am so smart

i don’t want to hurt marcelo’s feelings because he’s a nice guy, even if he has the personality of a carpet. so i am acting like i want him to stay. i offered him a salary increase of 0.01 percent. i also threw in a few discount meal vouchers for the groupama restaurant and a mug that said “my mug”

i am also so generous

best president ever, amirite????

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s